Martha Stewart Made Me Eat Blue Cheese
The 22nd annual Kohler Food & Wine festival brought out the star power + new Michelin faves, ranch chili crunch & a new queer icon.
“It’s not blue cheese. It’s Stilton.”
Martha Stewart gently yet firmly lobbed this clarification across the table in that familiar lilt that can only be done by the queen of all things lifestyle. So poised. So elegant. And at times, a bit cheeky and, dare I say, risqué?
We were finishing up cocktail hour at a dinner she was hosting at the 22nd annual Kohler Food and Wine festival in Kohler, Wis., where we, of course, sipped on her signature Martha-tinis: Zubrowka bison grass vodka, Dolin vermouth, and a lemon peel gently swiped along the inside of the chilled glass.
Before sitting for dinner, I was asked to follow a small group. I thought maybe we were taking a photo, but as we turned a corner, there she was: Martha, in all her shimmering golden glory. Her dress was literally golden. And shimmering. And she looked fabulous.
We were given the opportunity to say hello and ask some questions amid convivial conversation. Initially it felt awkward, but once the ice broke and our words cut the thick air, things flowed more freely.
I was curious why she wanted to take part in this weekend in Kohler. In Wisconsin. She replied how she has so much respect for this family-owned company that has literally built a town over the last 150 years (2023 marks Kohler’s 150th anniversary). How its design is ever evolving and that they practice sustainable manufacturing. She had done a tour of the factories the day before. She loves factories and seeing how they work. And the robots! She loved the robots.
Later, after she talked about new restaurants opening, I asked if she has a favorite standby in New York. “Elio’s on the Upper East Side,” she said. We then wrapped things up, but not before I asked if Drew and I could take a photo with her. Martha couldn’t have been more gracious. I thought it was pretty cool that while posing she, without breaking her smile, asked Drew what he did for a living and they had a quick chat.
Breaking a cardinal rule?
Before parting, I leaned in, gently placed my hand on Martha’s upper arm, and said it was so nice to meet her. Martha glanced — or dare I say, glared? — down at my hand before quickly recapturing my gaze. “It was a pleasure meeting you, too,” she said, her smile filling the space.
Was I not supposed to touch Martha? Did I just break a cardinal rule? If I did, she let it slide. Or so I hoped.
We then found ourselves back in the cocktail area, not realizing we were supposed to find our seats at the single table beautifully set with pumpkins, gourds, artichokes, small branches, candles, and other fall foliage where the rest of the 50 or so guests now gathered.
And there it was, in the center of a table: a hollowed-out cheese rind overflowing with blue, nay, Stilton cheese. Its base filled with dried cranberries, blueberries, cashews. Next to it sat a cake plate filled with sweet biscuits Martha had made.
“Have you tried this?” Martha asked me as she placed a blue cheese biscuit into her mouth.
“I have to be honest, I don’t like blue cheese,” I confidently replied. (ed. note: If you know me, and Drew, we both have strong disdain for it.)
“Oh this isn’t blue cheese. This is Stilton,” Martha said, reassuringly, again with that lilt. “And it’s delicious on these crackers I made.”
“Well, how do I say no to Martha Stewart?” I asked.
So I casually walked around the table and took my place by her side. With my hands slightly shaking, I picked up a biscuit and it proceeded to crack in half. I regained my composure and scooped a bit of the Stilton with the knife and put it on the remaining biscuit. The cheese quickly rolled off onto the table.
“Martha! I’m making a mess,” I said, laughing. [ed. note: turn up the volume on the video.]
Ever the hostess, without missing a beat, Martha elegantly plucked the small piece of Stilton off the table, put it atop my cracker and said, “Not here you’re not.”
I popped it into my mouth and … I didn’t gag. It wasn’t awful. I actually enjoyed it. The sweet biscuit likely helped. I even had a bit more. And then Drew and I went to find our seats. At the far end of the table. Away from Martha and her crew. Was this a result of the blue cheese fiasco? Unlikely, since it had just occurred. Was it because I — gasp! — touched her upper arm?
Getting called out
The incredible five-course, wine-paired (including Martha’s Chard) meal, inspired by The Bedford by Martha Stewart (her restaurant inspired by her 152-acre Westchester County estate that opened in 2022 inside the Paris Las Vegas) began. Martha, seated in the middle of the room, introduced each course. She elegantly and humorously regaled us with tales of how each course harked back to moments in her charmed life. She interacted with her friends, with others at the table, telling jokes, and being, well, charmingly Martha.
Following the truly gorgeous breadbasket piled high with grape focaccia, Parker House rolls, and garden flatbread laden with red onion, tomato, zucchini, and squash; warm oysters Rockefeller (where Martha casually named dropped David Rockefeller and time they spent at his place in Maine); and spiced pumpkin soup served, of course, in hollowed out pumpkins, out came the salad.
“I love on-deev,” Martha said (for the record, I love when people say endive that way). “But I have to apologize to my friend who doesn’t like blue cheese, this has some sweet gorgonzola. Where is Ari and his partner?” [ed. note: Drew took serious umbridge with a) not being name checked and b) being demoted to partner status.] I proudly stood, waved to Martha from down the table, and immediately cracked up.
Did Martha Stewart just call me out? I’ll happily take it. Does this mean I’m forgiven for the touch? I don’t know, but I’m now waiting for our invitation to Bedford. The real Bedford. Should I hold my breath?
SG LIST: Things I’m high fiving this week
Kohler Food & Wine
The weekend, which we were hosted guests, wasn’t just about Martha (even though that was a highlight). The leaves were at peak fall color, which is always a bonus. And staying at the Carriage House at the American Club was a truly elevated experience with phenomenal service. It’s steps from the Kohler Waters Spa, the recently renovated Design Center, Shops at Woodlake, and a short drive from world-class golf at Whistling Straits. This year, Kohler added more experiences like wine tastings (we attended a great seminar with Ken Wright), wine and chocolate pairings, cooking demos with chefs such as Daniela Soto-Innes, Gavin Kaysen, Fabio Viviani, and Derrell Smith, and more. And the village had fun installations with brands like Daou, Belle Glos, Monkey Shoulder, and Aperol Spritz. Overall it’s an indulgent experience and, after recent events, was a nice distraction from reality.
8 Michelin Guide Chicago additions
Ahead of the Nov. 7 star announcement ceremony in New York (this year Michelin will reveal the New York, Chicago, and D.C. starred restaurants at one big party, likely to cut down on costs), the tire guide revealed eight new restaurants that caught the attention of the Michelin inspectors. Whether any get a star or a Bib Gourmand remains to be seen, but there are some worthy places on this list: Atelier, Boonie’s Filipino Restaurant, Cellar Door Provisions, GG’s Chicken Shop, Itoko, Kyoten Next Door, Obelix, and Yao Yao.
This Little Goat Ranch Chili Crunch
Yeah, I know, ranch dressing and chili crunch? Hear me out. Chili crunch is the condiment you didn’t know you needed (unless, of course, you already knew you needed it). Chef Stephanie Izard partnered with Hidden Valley Ranch for this limited edition product. And I can’t get enough of it. We put it on eggs, avocado, pizza. It has just the right amount of heat. And crunch. And zing.
I’ve been a fan of Brandi Carlile since I first met her in the mid-’2000s and my love of her and her music continues to grow. Seeing her this summer at Ravinia was a highlight. Her stories and on-stage banter almost equal her energetic performances and anthemic sound. Her activism for the LGBTQ community has opened doors. So it was no surprise to see her on the cover of the new issue of Out as this year’s icon. She truly deserves that title.
I love this...you're such a good storyteller!
This is best story ever! Ari, I am utterly speechless. Thank you so much for the bringing it to us and the visuals! Your honestly is exhilarating.